Toughen Up, Hiccup
by muggleborn.dragon.ryder
Summary: A few weeks ago, Snotlout began making gibes at Hiccup that got the fishbone thinking...and now he thinks maybe he should try to do something Viking-like, and so begins the adventure: Operation: Toughen up Hiccup! The hilariously wayward attempts of his friends and dragon to help him become a proper Viking make this an adventure for all involved.
1. Operation: Toughen Up, Hiccup!

**A/N: I know this chapter is kinda slow...I was just thinking how in Portrait of Hiccup, he went back to thinking he was inadequate. It just kind of got me thinking...IDK if Portrait of Hiccup happened or not...I know episodes 1-6 did, because Alvin ends up being brought up in the story...**

* * *

"You know what you need, Hiccup? You need muscles," Snotlout told him.

"Yes, you've mentioned this a time or two before," Hiccup said testily. "And why do I need them this time?"

"Well, I mean…think about it," Snotlout said. "Once the novelty of your whole 'the Red Death' incident wears off, you're gonna become the screw-up of Berk again. Best bulk up now," he said.

They were standing in the training arena and the dragon training class had just finished.

The other teens all stared between Snotlout and Hiccup, waiting for the dragon trainer's response.

Finally, he crossed his arms and said, "Snotlout, just…just…"

"Yes?" Snotlout asked.

"Just go," Hiccup finished, then turned away, walking out of the training dome.

* * *

"Astrid? Do you think I have to toughen up? That I'm not a proper Viking?" Hiccup asked.

Astrid quirked an eyebrow. "What brought this on?"

"Nothing. Well…" Hiccup hesitated. "Snotlout. He brought this on. He's been telling me I need to become a proper Viking, otherwise no one will ever accept me once the novelty of the battle with the Red Death wears off."

Astrid just stared at him. "And you're taking him seriously?"

"Well…" Hiccup continued to hesitate and finally finished with, "Yeah, you're right, it's stupid."

"No," Astrid said, "actually, it isn't stupid at all. But keep in mind this is Snotlout. He'll say anything to keep a guy down."

Hiccup shrugged. "Yeah, well…"

Astrid walked off and Hiccup headed for home.

* * *

The moment Hiccup got in the door, all talking ceased immediately.

"Hey, Dad?" Hiccup asked, coming into the kitchen. "Who are you talking to?"

He was speaking to Gobber, it appeared, and Gobber gave him a quick smile that Hiccup returned. "What were you guys talking about?"

"Nothing, nothing," Stoick said. "Just…boring chief stuff. You don't want to hear about it."

Boring chief stuff? Stoick never talked that way. If anything, he'd been at Hiccup since day one about how the boy needed to toughen up, take on some responsibilities and start acting like the son of a chief.

Ever since Hiccup had beaten the Red Death, things had gotten a little better between the two but there was still fourteen years of unsaid words.

Hiccup sighed. "Really? Like what?"

"Like nothing," Stoick told him. "Feel free to go upstairs."

Hiccup didn't miss the complete dismissal, and so he went upstairs to his room. But as he reached his bedroom, it suddenly occurred to him that there might be a deeper reason behind why Stoick had sent him upstairs.

Were they talking about him?

He began thinking over what Snotlout had been saying to him these past few weeks and hurriedly began worrying that maybe the other boy was right.

Was Stoick really sliding back into his old ways of raising Hiccup? The boy wondered. Or was it something worse, was it that Stoick no longer accepted him?

Hiccup thought about that for a second, then hurriedly slid over to Toothless. "C'mon, bud," he whispered. "It's time for a little night fly."


	2. How to become a proper Viking

**A/N: So next chapter's loads of fun and to work on the next one! xD It's lots of fun to write, but I won't spoil the surprise...no, I WON'T spoil the surprise...just read...**

* * *

When Hiccup got back from his night flight, he felt a little calmer about everything, but still slightly worried. Luckily, Gobber was gone and Stoick was fast asleep downstairs, and since the man could sleep through a hurricane, Hiccup and Toothless didn't have to be quiet as they landed in the boy's bedroom through the glassless window.

Hiccup crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his head.

Soon, he was also asleep.

When Hiccup awoke the next morning, he was struggling to remember everything. Then he thought of Stoick last night and the secretive way in which he'd acted and he felt his stomach drop.

"It's probably going to be nothing, right?" Hiccup asked Toothless. "I'm getting all worked up for no reason."

But all the same, he flew to the training arena that day and waited for the teens nervously.

As Astrid came in, he stood. "Hey, Astrid, would you help me?"

She was the first one there.

She sat down at one of the tables. "Sure! With what?"

"Can you think of any ways I could toughen up?"

Astrid just looked at him. "Hiccup, what is it with you and that lately?" she asked.

"Shh," he implored. "C'mon, can you think of any ways?"

She regarded him with a pensive look for a second.

"Well, for the first part – if you're really serious about doing this, and clearly you are – then you could always learn to fight."

"Astrid, I can hardly pick up anything!"

The other teens began coming into the arena. "What's the deal?" Snotlout asked.

"Astrid wants to teach me how to fight," Hiccup snapped.

"Only because you want to become tough!"

"It's not about being tough, it's about learning how to be a proper Viking!"

"You don't need to be a proper Viking," Astrid said to him, but Hiccup just sighed.

"Clearly, my father doesn't think so."

"Oh, well, did he say that to you?"

"No, but he may as well have."

"Really? What did he say?"

"No, it was how he was talking to Gobber last night…"

Hiccup cut himself off and said, "Look, Astrid, I just think it'd be a good idea if I learned how to do something Viking-like. Like…"

"Riding a dragon?" Her lips threatened a smirk.

"I mean something _properly_ Viking that I didn't do," he pointed out.

"Riding a dragon is properly Viking!" Fishlegs pointed out. "It's all anyone can talk about!"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Fine. So it's normal now for Vikings to ride dragons. But I still want to do something ordinary, something I didn't start."

"Like I said, learning to fight," Astrid countered.

"I can't learn how to fight!"

"Suit yourself," Astrid said and leaned back.

"Don't you guys have any other suggestions?" Hiccup asked.

Fishlegs shook his head. "I'm just as bad at being a violent Viking as you, Hiccup."

"Well, I'm not!" Snotlout announced. "And Astrid's telling the truth. Learn to fight. And put on some muscle."

"I'm looking for something I can actually do," Hiccup said.

Snotlout sighed. "Then keep looking."

"Isn't there anything I can do my way?" Hiccup asked.

"I don't suppose teaching you how to fight with an axe counts?" Astrid asked slyly.

* * *

**A/N: So next time in Operation: Toughen Up, Hiccup! the first act of business is Astrid trying to teach him how to fight with an axe. I'm hoping I'm making it creative enough, but I don't know. Also, these chapters are not that long. Please excuse that :P **


	3. Runts Weren't Meant to Wield a Spear

**Chapter 3: Runts Weren't Meant to Wield a Spear**

* * *

"Alright. Now just throw it."

"I can't even swing it."

"Try."

"I am."

"Oh."

"C'mon, Hiccup," Astrid said. "Be serious. Think about someone who really pisses you off. Then throw it, imagining that person's face on the barrel, alright?"

Hiccup glared at her. "I'm starting to see where you get your anger issues."

"Look, do you want to do it or not?"

Hiccup threw the axe as hard as he could and it landed just shy of the barrel.

"Oh, bummer," Snotlout cackled.

Hiccup turned to him with a 'shut-up-now' type look. Then he looked back at Astrid. "Like I said, axe throwing isn't for me."

"Well, that was just your first try."

"Astrid, I mean it."

"Fine," She raised her hands in surrender. "Let's think of something else for you, then, huh?"

The other dragons were busy watching this all with evident amazement.

"How about getting his face shoved in the ocean?" Snotlout suggested.

"No," Hiccup told him.

"Aw, c'mon…"

And so began the adventure to toughen up Hiccup.

* * *

"Now, a mace you want to be careful with," Snotlout warned. "It's incredibly heavy."

"You think I don't know that?" Hiccup groaned.

"You're not even holding it. It's on the floor, at your feet."

"I am holding it."

Snotlout realized that was Hiccup's knuckles that were dragging the ground. "Oh."

"Let's just get this over with," Ruffnut groaned.

"I'm hungry," Tuffnut said.

"I can't look," Fishlegs moaned.

"I can," Snotlout said.

Hiccup swung the mace, nearly clocked Snotlout, and ended up stirring up dust as it landed a foot away.

Snotlout howled with laughter. "Oh, all fear Hiccup, who's so weak he can't even throw a mace!"

Hiccup turned on him angrily. "I didn't ask for this."

"You did ask for help."

"Not like this!"

"Are you complaining about free labor, Hiccup?"

"No!" Hiccup said. "Like Fishlegs said to Gobber, I'm really beginning to question your teaching methods."

Snotlout grinned.

* * *

"Alright, Hiccup. C'mon. It's just a sack."

"And I suppose this is just a thousand-pound spear?"

"Think of Alvin the Treacherous."

"Why would I do that?"

"To get you good and pissed. Get some Viking anger running through your veins."

Hiccup sighed. "Thinking of Alvin doesn't help."

"It doesn't make you want to kill something?" asked a surprised Tuffnut.

Hiccup picked up the spear and lobbed it at the sack, and somehow, he did a feminine twirl as he threw it and it ended up, not in the sack, but behind him, embedded in the wall.

He turned flame red and yanked it out again.

"Nice," Snotlout giggled. "Very Viking-esque."

He was quickly silenced by a punch in the gut from Astrid.

"Okay…so clearly runts weren't meant to wield a spear."

* * *

**A/N: I'm thinking of titling the chapters from now on. I really love this chap. It gets the story moving and keeps everybody in character. (I think). I'd like to think everybody else enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


	4. How to Toughen Up a Non-Viking

**A/N: I felt kind of sorry for Hiccup xD even though I could totally see this: **

**Hiccup: I must be a proper Viking! I must impress my father!**

**Astrid: No, you don't.**

**Snotlout and the twins: THIS IS SPARTA! LIFT ALL THE AXES!**

**Fishlegs: ...I'm staying out of it.**

**That's kind of what this chapter's like xD**

* * *

Hiccup sighed, put away all the weapons and said, "This isn't right. This isn't what I'm looking for."

"You are looking to become a proper Viking, right?" Snotlout crossed his arms.

Hiccup nodded.

"Then, yeah, you're looking for something pretty similar."

"Why do I have to be bad at _everything?" _Hiccup said angrily, glancing down and seeing his prosthetic foot. Even that, which would be seen as a badge of honor and pride for most Vikings was a source of embarrassment to him whenever he stumbled or fell before Toothless could help him up.

"You're not bad at everything, Hiccup," Astrid said. "Think about training Toothless. You were better at that than most of us—

"I meant something a REAL Viking would do, how many times do I have to tell you guys that?" Hiccup said angrily.

"—would've been," Astrid finished slowly, then turned away from him, sweeping her bangs out of her face. "Well, if you're determined on this, you're already a pretty fine blacksmith."

"Yeah, but last I checked, Berk doesn't need a blacksmith."

"And last I checked, Berk doesn't need Hiccup to change himself."

"Yes, it does," Snotlout chipped in. "Look at him, Astrid."

Astrid glared at him. Hiccup gestured to Snotlout. "See?"

Astrid started going towards Snotlout.

"Awesome," Tuffnut chipped in. "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"I don't fight girls," Snotlout snapped.

"Oh, sorry," Astrid lowered her fist. "Neither do I."

Snickers from the twins as Snotlout went scarlet and Astrid turned her back firmly on him and back to Hiccup. "Anyway, Hiccup, you don't have to do this—

"Yes, I do."

"—But if you insist on it, I'm with you every step of the way."

"Really?" he smiled hopefully at her.

"I'm still gonna follow around after you and attempt to convince you otherwise, but I'm by your side through it, alright?"

Hiccup gave her a grateful smile and Toothless moaned behind them and rubbed his scaly head against Hiccup's hand.

Hiccup smiled down at Toothless and rubbed his head, his green eyes lightening for a moment as he considered just trying to ignore Snotlout.

But Hiccup had never been one to sit around without taking any sort of action, so he stood back up and said, "Alright, guys. What can we do?"

"Well…" Fishlegs began slowly. "I mean, we could always try and teach you how to do something Viking-y, kinda like Gobber's dragon training…"

"Only something that doesn't involve killing innocent creatures," Hiccup hastily added.

"That's the best part of being a Viking," Snotlout pointed out.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Alright." He turned back to the others. "Any ideas?"

"Hey, maybe we could teach you how to fight with a spear again," chuckled Tuffnut.

Hiccup blushed. He still hadn't quite gotten over that debacle, but was thanking Thor his father hadn't been there to watch.

"Or I could teach you how to rearrange a face," Astrid said to Tuff, "we can practice on yours."

"Okay," Tuffnut sighed. "Just make it quick. And there better be fire involved."

Ugh, Hiccup thought, glancing around at his friends. This is not going to go well at all.

With six crazy teens, what could possibly go wrong?

* * *

"Oh, please. It's not that hard."

"Okay, well, for me, it is."

"Just pick it up," Snotlout urged.

"Put your back into it!" yelled Tuffnut, who was enjoying himself hugely.

Hiccup gave him a glare that could've stopped a Night Fury in its tracks, then went back to attempting to rip the tree up by its roots.

"I told you guys that this isn't the kind of thing I was thinking of." All this was said with a lot of groans in between.

"I know, but it sure is fun to watch," Snotlout said and Hiccup took his hands off the trunk.

"Is that why I was doing this? For you guys' amusement? Because in case you haven't noticed, I was taking this seriously and I really thought you guys were, too!"

Hiccup raised his arms up as he talked and everybody heard some overused muscle pop. Hiccup crumpled. "Ahh…"

"I guess it's onto Plan B," mused a satisfied Snotlout, a smirk curling up the corners of his mouth.

"Okay, it's just like Thawfest."

"Ruffnut, I can barely move."

"Oh, c'mon. Don't tell me the dragon trainer, hero of Berk, is weak from a few trees?"

"And axes, and spears and spiked maces," muttered Hiccup. "Anyway, Ruffnut, absolutely not. I can't do this."

"Try."

"Ugh…" Hiccup attempted to stand and sank to his knees again. "See? I can barely move."

"Just try, Hiccup."

Hiccup stood, precariously balancing the sheep on his back. "What part of Viking training is this called?" Hiccup moaned. "How to break your back?"

"And be a man about it," Ruffnut told him.

Hiccup sent her a glare, letting her know her insult was not missed and not appreciated. He stood and began running as fast and far as he could with the sheep and didn't come back for twenty long minutes.

"Think he's still running?" Tuffnut asked.

"Please," snorted Snotlout. "The Useless couldn't keep going this long."

However, seeing as nobody else moved an inch, Astrid threw her hands up in the air and exclaimed, "And I suppose I have to be the one to check on him?"

"Well, if you want," Snotlout said. "You will tell us what he looks like, right?"

Though Astrid didn't agree, she swore the moment she saw him would be a moment she'd take to the grave.

He was lying sprawled on the dewy grasses of Berk and he was breathing heavily, the sheep over his head. His limbs were sprawled in ungraceful positions and his back was arched in an odd position.

"That doesn't look good," Astrid said, coming over to him and laying a hand on his back.

"It'll be fine," Hiccup said briskly, making to stand and tripping over his prosthetic in the process.

He looked so miserable that Astrid felt pity tug at her heartstrings and offered him a soft white hand.

He used it to pull himself up and said, "Don't tell Snotlout."

"I won't," she said.

He stretched his back, and a loud cracking noise sounded in the clearing.

Astrid looked very surprised. "Did that come from your back?"

"Yep," replied Hiccup, rubbing his back tenderly and wincing. "Ugh."

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." Hiccup said quickly, walking back to the others.

"Did you pass out?" asked an interested Snotlout the moment they returned.

Hiccup shook his head miserably. "No."

"Aww," groaned Tuffnut.

"Time for the next thing," Hiccup said. "And this time, there are limits. No sheep. And no trees, alright? And no setting me up for your own entertainment."


	5. Obstacle Courses and Prosthetic Legs

**A/N: Yeah...no idea where this came from...just no idea...**

* * *

"Alright. Any other ideas?"

"I've got an idea!" exclaimed a clearly excited Tuffnut. "We test your manhood by giving you up as a sacrifice to the gods! There'll be lots of fire involved!"

There was a slightly appalled silence.

"The gods in Valhalla will have to fight for their meal tonight." Snotlout said at last.

Hiccup looked offended.

"Hey!" Astrid said. "What about an obstacle course?"

"What?"

"An obstacle course!" Astrid exclaimed happily. "You can run it and we'll see how well you do."

"Well…"

"Or be sacrificed," she added slyly.

"I'm in."

* * *

"Okay," Astrid said. "Fishlegs and I have designed this race. It's relatively safe and isn't too difficult. It starts on foot and Toothless will be waiting for you halfway through, okay?"

"Alright. This'd better be better than the sheep incident." That was how the six teens referred to Hiccup's embarrassing mishap: the sheep incident.

Hiccup began running up the steps and then climbed up the sheer cliff face, struggling to find a foothold with his stupid leg. He sighed, pulled himself up on it and eventually made it to the top.

Toothless waited for him there and as Hiccup jumped on him he saw the twins had a catapult and a stick of dynamite.

Snotlout came around the corner and set the boulder residing in the catapult on fire. The flames quickly caught and Hiccup didn't get the chance to call for Fishlegs or Astrid before flaming rocks were coming out of nowhere at him.

"Augh!" Hiccup tried to land Toothless, but it was no use; land him and they'd be killed, keep flying and risk it.

Finally, Hiccup's prosthetic snapped off and flew through the midair. Hiccup was jolted off Toothless and suddenly Stormfly was underneath him, catching him as Toothless landed reasonably smoothly, exploding rocks with his fire and shaking out his wings.

"Stormfly?" he asked in sudden surprise. Faintly, he heard a few thuds. Looking down, he saw the prosthetic had hit Tuffnut, knocking him out.

"Oh, brother," moaned Hiccup to himself. "Stormfly, will you land us?" There were no flaming rocks coming at them anymore.

Stormfly complied and Hiccup stumbled off her, sitting down in the grass.

Snotlout picked up Hiccup's prosthetic and Hiccup gratefully reached out his hand for it.

Snotlout's lips pulled up at the corners and a devilish twinkle entered his eyes. "No."

"What—?"

"Another test of your Viking-ness, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third!" Snotlout challenged and threw the prosthetic as hard as he could. Hiccup heard a very faint thud as it landed miles away.

"Snotlout!" Hiccup flared and Astrid began yelling, calling Snotlout all manner of unrepeatable things.

"And now you _get _that prosthetic back, you hear me?" she yelled at him, finishing her sentence.

Snotlout flinched, looking like a puppy that got its tail caught in a mousetrap. "Alright. Fine. Keep your braid on, babe." He called for Hookfang, who came around.

Snotlout mounted him and sighed dramatically, "Useless is being weak again. Let's go find his leg."

Astrid murmured a few more unrepeatable sentences.

Hiccup sighed.

"Hey, Hiccup!" Tuffnut said, having come around. "New test: how far could you crawl without your leg?"

"We are not doing that!" Astrid said.

"Fine. Let's see how much pain you can go through!"

"I got my entire freaking leg chopped off!" Hiccup snapped. "We are not doing that, either!"

Tuff cackled evilly.

"I won't let them hurt you," Astrid said.

Hiccup crossed his arms. "Whatever."

Snotlout and Hookfang came back into view, looking very windswept. "I couldn't find it."

"What?" Hiccup made to jump to his feet and found he couldn't. He was mentally panicking. How was he supposed to get along without his prosthetic leg? He couldn't walk very far without it…would he have to slide along the village for the next few weeks?

"Just kidding!" Snotlout grinned, taking it out.

Astrid ran forward and socked him.


	6. Operation: Mildew!

**A/N: This was just...a fun little chap... :)**

* * *

"This is a test of your Viking courage, your utter strength, your honor, your dignity…" Fishlegs began.

"And if you're willing to die."

"What? Why?" Hiccup sounded nervous.

"They're kidding," Astrid said.

"Now, Hiccup, to toughen you up and test your skill at stealing, we must put into action: Operation: Mildew!"

"What? Why?"

"Because you're going to steal his helmet without him noticing. And put it back before he sees it's gone."

"Ohhh great," Hiccup groaned.

So went into action Operation: Mildew!

* * *

Hiccup hung from a rope tied around Mildew's ceiling rafter, stomach jumping. Oh, please don't let him notice.

If he noticed, forget Operation: Toughen Up, Hiccup being over, think Hiccup being over. He gulped nervously.

As Mildew went right under his field of vision, Hiccup snatched his helmet off his head quickly, scampering back up the rope and making it up the ceiling beam, clutching the helmet and taking a breather on the beam.

When Mildew noticed nothing, Hiccup nearly laughed with relief, but he didn't. He couldn't let Mildew notice.

"C'mon, Fungus," Mildew said. "Let's get ourselves a spot of dinner."

They left the house and Hiccup scampered down the rope and out of the hut, falling down in his utter haste to bring them the helmet.

The teens were waiting on the front lawn happily and the moment they saw Hiccup, he held the helmet up and they all cheered.

"Now let's get out of here," Snotlout said. "Mildew's house is spooky."

"Are you scared?" Tuff teased.

Astrid smiled. "Well done, Hiccup!"

Hiccup grinned, face flushed with excitement. "I did it!"

He did a little jig and ended up falling over as Stoick came around the corner. He raised one eyebrow. "What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing," Hiccup tried to brush it off. "Just…you know." He gestured with the hand gripping the horn of Mildew's helmet. Stoick's eyes snapped to the helmet. "What are you doing with Mildew's helmet, son?"

"Er…nothing," Hiccup said quickly, trying to hide it behind his back. "I don't know what you're talking about, what-what helmet?"

"Give it back and stop being silly."

Stoick walked off.

Hiccup was flushed but happy. "See? I got the helmet, though."

"Dude," Snotlout chuckled. "Being frisked by your dad. How lame can you get?"


	7. How to Sink A Boat

**A/N: Chapter 7: How To Sink A Boat **

**:D I'm quite proud of this 'ere chap :) It did make me feel kind of sorry for Hiccup xD But I really liked writing this! I felt I kept everyone in-character...did I? **

* * *

"Okay," Tuffnut grinned, "this is something for all of us."

"Hopefully, it's not something else that involves throwing Hiccup's prosthetic," growled Astrid.

Hiccup shifted uncomfortably. He was starting to really hate Operation: Toughen Up, Hiccup!

He still wanted to be a Viking. He still wanted to be adequate. That was what kept him playing it.

"No," Tuffnut assured. "It was Snotlout's idea."

Snotlout stepped forward and explained the plan to them.

"Uh…"

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Fishlegs said.

"C'mon. Boys against girls." Tuffnut said.

"That's not fair to the girls," smirked Snotlout. "There's only two of them and four of us. Not to mention we're the stronger sex…"

Astrid's jaw clenched. "Okay, Ruff, you and I are on a team together."

"Excellent," Ruffnut said happily.

"Oh, Thor…" moaned Hiccup with Fishlegs as the two exchanged looks.

* * *

"You might still be able to keep on doing Operation: Toughen Up, Hiccup," consoled Fishlegs. "If Astrid and Snotlout don't kill you first with their pride."

"Have I ever mentioned," Hiccup groaned, lifting his oar, "how much I hate the ocean?"

"This is incredible, your dad just loaning us these boats," Fishlegs remarked, lifting his own oar and tossing it Snotlout. "If you like this game so much, _you_ row, Snotlout!" he snapped, cutting smoothly through Snotlout's protests.

"Well, it would be, if he did, but he didn't, so that's another thing we should try not to talk about…" Hiccup hedged.

"Are we going behind his back again?"

"Because we all know how well that worked last time," chipped in Tuffnut.

Hiccup glared at them all. "Well, I didn't exactly tell him we were taking a boat…"

"So we're stealing?" squeaked Fishlegs.

"Calm yourself, Fish," snapped Hiccup. "We're not stealing. My dad is just…unaware that he lost two boats today."

They were out in the middle of the Sullen Sea, about ten feet from the dock, so land was easily reachable.

Everybody else had shouted down Tuff's attempts to make them go farther out to sea.

They were planning on playing a game where they used their oars to see who could smash each other's boats and sink them faster: the boys or the girls.

Naturally, Hiccup and Fishlegs were a little reluctant. Hiccup wasn't a strong swimmer, especially with his prosthetic, and Fishlegs couldn't swim at all.

"Okay," Snotlout breathed. "There! There's the girls' boat! Quick!" He tossed the oars to Hiccup and Fishlegs. "C'mon, Useless, do something!"

"Why us?" groaned Fishlegs.

"Just DO it, Fish!" groaned Hiccup, rowing for all he was worth. He was creating barely a ripple in the flat as glass seawater.

"Because you two are weaker and won't be smashing the girls' boat as much," Snotlout replied in a superior tone.

Hiccup sighed, rowing faster. If his plan continued this way, he'd be lucky to still have his natural color hair, instead of gray, by the end of it.

"Oof!" He'd fallen face-first onto the edge of the boat, catching himself by his chin and causing his teeth to rattle together.

"Oh, and by the way," Snotlout added lazily, "Astrid's aiming right at you guys."

Fishlegs jumped up and scrambled away, rocking the boat crazily; Hiccup got dunked underwater and swallowed a large gulp of seawater. Rising back up, he glared at the other boys through sopping strands of his auburn hair. "Can we please just stop?" he hissed at them. "Please?"

WHACK!

Astrid had smacked his side of the boat, hard, with her oar. The boat rocked again, getting jolted by the sea.

Fishlegs was closing his eyes and rocking back and forth, murmuring, "My happy place…my happy place…"

Snotlout grabbed Hiccup's oar out of his hand, smashing his nose with the end. "Ow!" Hiccup protested, rubbing it as a large red mark appeared on the end.

Tuffnut was jumping up and down, shrieking about how the girls better back off now because the boys were going to beat them. This made Ruffnut even madder, and, as a result, she threw her oar at Tuffnut.

It missed, because her boat was being rocked as well, and she was too angry to channel her great Viking aim, but it hit Fishlegs instead, who got pinged backward.

As a result, he landed heavily in the water, just clinging onto the edge of the boat with the tips of his fingers.

His weight caused the boat to bow slightly, starting to tip a little, and Hiccup seemed to be the only one worried about this.

Tuffnut was too busy dancing around on the spot, screaming about how Ruffnut had missed him because she was a _girl_.

Snotlout was cackling as he aimed a blow at Astrid's side of the boat and she was sopping wet from the waist down and aiming a savage blow of the oar at Snotlout's side.

Hiccup was sure he wasn't strong enough to pull Fishlegs up on his own, and as there was no intelligent life aboard his boat, he had to settle for assuring Fishlegs (in a rather high-pitched voice that kept cracking – it always did when he was under stress) that he would get him out and to _stop thrashing_ and _JUST KEEP KICKING, FOR THOR'S SAKE! _

"Here!" Hiccup grabbed Tuffnut's oar, causing a cry of protest. "Grab this!"

Fishlegs grabbed the larger bit of the oar.

"Snotlout!" Hiccup called. "Help me!"

"With what?" demanded Snotlout.

"We're sinking!" Hiccup screamed. "Help me pull Fishlegs up, I'm not strong enough!"

"But if we're sinking, that means the girls are winning!" Snotlout said, panicking.

"It doesn't matter if the girls are winning, Fishlegs is drowning!" Hiccup cried between clenched teeth.

Unfortunately, that was rather a poor choice of wording around Fishlegs, who began panicking even more, causing Hiccup to have to clutch the oar very tightly. "FISHLEGS, STOP THRASHING! SNOTLOUT, STOP! JUST STOP! TUFFNUT, SHUT UP!"

Dead silence reigned in the boat.

"Wow," Ruffnut muttered, "I didn't know you knew how to yell."

Hiccup just kept glaring at Snotlout. "Well? Make yourself useful! Help Fishlegs!" He handed Snotlout the oar and grabbed Tuffnut's helmet. "If we've got a hole, we'd better bail out the water." And with that, he collected the steady trickle of water and poured it back over into the ocean.

Then Astrid accidentally smacked Hiccup in the back of the head with her oar.

"Ow!" groaned Hiccup. It was going to be a LONG day...


	8. All's Fair in Dares and Snowball Fights

**A/N: Chapter 8: All's Fair In Dares and Snowball Fights**

**Okay, this chapter was actually lots of fun to write. xD Being a Viking, I thought Stoick would think, 'counter-attack!' before 'lecture!' xD I kind of farted around for the first half there, I don't know if anyone caught that. And of course, when Operation: Toughen Up, Hiccup! starts up again, it's going to be even more interesting ;-) I'm really just kind of flying by the seat of my pants here, but I'm on the lookout for new things they can make Hiccup do! It's kind of fun, as most people do it where it's all the teens going through this, but mine is different, because it's just Hiccup xD whom I love embarrassing in my stories xD **

* * *

"I'm hungry," Tuffnut moaned. "What are we doing here again?"

"This is another test of your Viking courage!" Snotlout said.

They were standing on the edge of a cliff, exactly a day after the whole boat debacle.

"What am I supposed to be doing?" Hiccup demanded.

"You're going to do a running jump off this cliff." Ruffnut told him bluntly.

Dead silence.

"No."

"C'mon!"

"NO!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Because whyyy?"

"Because it's dumb! And useless. Toothless will catch me before I hit the ground anyway."

As if to prove his point, Toothless looked up at him and moaned softly, an almost disappointed look in his green eyes, as if trying to tell him something.

Hiccup sighed and turned away from him. "So, no. We're not doing that."

"Fine," said Snotlout, refusing to be cowed. "Oh! Oh! I've got one! I've got one!"

"What is it this time?"

* * *

"I can't do this!"

"Are you _scared?"_

"No! Well…yes! Wouldn't you be?"

"Be a man!"

"I already told you, nothing that involves my father."

"Chicken." Snotlout smirked, hoping to get a rise out of the auburn-haired boy.

"I'm not chicken," Hiccup defended himself, both boys sounding approximately five years old. "I just wish to live a long, full life. And doing this will most definitely put me on his hit list."

"This is your dad," Astrid chuckled, amused at the idea in spite of herself. "It's not like he's gonna kill you or anything."

"No, you're right, he'll let Gobber do it." Hiccup said. "Then he'll feed my remains to Thornado!"

Snotlout crossed his arms. "C'mon, Hiccup. I_ dare_ you."

Hiccup gave a gasp.

The other teens all winced and mumbled 'ouch'.

"But…but I can't," Hiccup protested weakly, knowing he'd lost. "I mean, I'll try. But he's going to kill me…"

He swallowed and scooped up a pile of white mush. "If he kills me, you guys are dead, too."

"So I guess Operation: Toughen Up, Hiccup is closed then?" asked Tuffnut, slyly trying to sneak away from the rest of the group.

"_None of you are leaving!"_ Hiccup said in a dangerous whisper. "If he kills me, I'm taking you guys down with me."

Tuffnut slumped back down, muttering 'darn'.

Stoick slowly came into view, walking slowly after a long, hard day. Hiccup clutched the snowball tighter. "Gods, guys, I can't do this."

"Yes, you can," Snotlout encouraged. "C'mon, Hiccup. One quick thrust. Think of someone you're really pissed at and throw it."

"So, you?" Hiccup muttered sarcastically, but he crept forward, in full view of his father, throwing the tightly packed sphere of snow as hard as he could.

It hit the man full on, in the face and his expression was one of such bewilderment and surprise that a laugh escaped Hiccup; a laugh that soon grew out of control, and he was gasping for breath, bending over, hands on his knees, forgetting his fear of lecture.

Then, to his surprise, he felt a ball of white mush hit him square on the cheek and a booming laugh rang out over their front lawn.

Hiccup's head jerked up and he saw Stoick was the one laughing now, hands covered in icy slush.

"No fair," Hiccup protested. "I was _(gasp) _laughing." _(Gasp)_

"All's fair in love and snowball fights," Stoick reminded him.

"I thought the real quote was all's fair in love and war," Hiccup replied, wiping the excess snow off his cheek, which a stinging red welt was forming on.

Stoick's gray-green eyes found the welt and his eyes widened. "What's that?"

"Oh, this?" Hiccup felt his cheek. "Probably from your snowball. It's nothing."

Stoick sighed as Hiccup followed him into their house, just before the other teens burst into laughter.

"Did you _see_ him?"

"I know! And then _Hiccup_!"

"Right on the face!"

Astrid was allowing the tiniest of laughs to escape her as well, watching Snotlout and the twins rolling about Hiccup and Stoick's brief snowball fight.

Fishlegs was grinning rather widely as well. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but for once in your life, Snotlout, you had a good idea."


End file.
